


Grimdorks week  3 - Headcanons

by gallantCreator



Series: Grimdorks Week [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, Multi, Shipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-21 03:46:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12449010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gallantCreator/pseuds/gallantCreator





	Grimdorks week  3 - Headcanons

###  **Grimdorks Week**

## Headcanon

And now for something completely different. A short Headcanon Infodump:

Rose  
Full name: Rosalie Abrielle Lalonde  
Looks: A bit pudgy and short (5'2”). She has fairly wide hips, and is otherwise fairly slim with no much muscle mass. Rose has fair skin and is of European descent, with her hair naturally straight and blonde.  
Nationality (aside from Ectobiology): Rose has French, Irish, Scottish, English, and Russian ancestry.  
Personality: Rose is sharp witted and quick with comebacks, with an analytical mind and barbed tongue. She can trade snark with the best of them. Rose tends to occupy her time with occult books on witchcraft and the paranormal.  
Orientation and Identity: Rose is cisgender, bisexual, and panromantic. Although she has flirted with the idea she might be a demigirl  
Trivia: Rose tends to like gothic metal, but it is a closely guarded secret she likes some pop songs. She is more open about it as she gets older, being less worried about being judged for liking stereotypically girly things like boy bands and makeup. Of course, her occult recordings still outweight her discography of N'Sync almost 10 to 1.  
Rose had never played any sort of card game until Dirk introduced her to Magic: The Gathering. Everyone assumed she would play a Blue scrying deck. Rose, naturally, chose a Black Horror deck.  
Her favorite dish is Shrimp Scampi. Kanaya does NOT find it funny when she says “I like the shrimp chopped in half”. Dave thinks it's fucking hilarious. She doesn't often have sweets, but when she does she likes caramel fudge brownies.  
She has, on more than one occasion, been a part of an April Fool's Day prank war with John and Dave at the same time, by pretending to assist both in pranking the other. She won.  
When she first met John in person during her Grimdark period, she recalls her first thought of John was about his arms. “Control yourself, Rose. There'll be plenty of time for holding when Jack is dead”.  
Despite her no-bullshit attitude, she has always enjoyed John's jokes.

John  
Full name: Jonathon Franklin Egbert  
Looks: John is a bit taller than average (5'9) with broad shoulders and a stout build. He is chubby and soft, but with some muscle underneath. He has a fair complexion that's a bit tan, but it looks more like a suntan than darker skin tone.  
Nationality: He is Polynesian with some German and Scottish mixed ancestry.  
Personality: John is a goofy dork, as everyone knows, but he can't stand intolerance or hate, especially not aimed at his friends. John is an absolute sweetheart who just wants to hug everyone, but people who hurt innocents are the lowest of the low to him.  
Orientation and Identity: John is bisexual (“I am not a homosexual!” leaves options open!) and cisgender  
Trivia: John likes video game soundtracks, mostly. He and Roxy will spend nights together curled up listening to the entire soundtrack of Mega Man 2 sometimes. Despite his father pushing it on him, John DOES like sweets and cake, but he's backed off a bit post-game to stay in “fighting fit” shape. He still eats garbage. His favorite sweet is chocolate chip cookies like Nana/Jane makes, and his favorite actual meal is chicken tenders and french fries. While John isn't a Straightedge-type, he doesn't drink alcohol. When he first met Rose, he babbled incoherently about marrying her and worried she hated him. Rose has consistently been his closest friend (aside from Dave).

## Bonus 1: The beach

Rose poked at her belly and sighed. She really should've opted for the one piece. The Light-emblem bikini made her painfully away of her tummy.  
“You Look Marvelous, Dear. Your Matesprites Agree.”  
Kanaya smiled as she and John took her hands.  
“Yeah, Rose! You look great! I mean look at me! I've got a belly, but I don't let it get to me!” He rubbed his stomach and smiled. Rose instantly felt a thousand times more beautiful with her Matesprites showering her with compliments.  
She leaned up to kiss them both, on her tippy-toes for John, and tippy-toes with the much-taller Kanaya.  
“Thank you both so much. I shouldn't get so caught up in my appearance. Looks aren't everything.”  
“Last one in the water's a rotten egg!” Jade shouted, sprinting by the trio. All three of them did their best not to stare at the ripped image of athletic perfection practically glistening as the muscles taunted them. And all three grumbled and placed a self-conscious hand over their bellies.  
“Stupid Jade, and her stupid sexy abs...”  
“Why Is Johns' Sister So Buff?”  
“Well it's not genetics!”


End file.
